Lesson 1The product page names one thing
Visitors skim. A page that opens with a feeling loses to one that opens with a fact.
BeforeWe offer high quality candles made with care for every home and every occasion.
AfterSoy candles in three scents, poured by hand on Tuesdays. Burns about forty hours.
Why it works: a reader can picture the second one and check it. The first could describe any shop.
Example: Hollis Lane Candle Co. is an invented shop.
Lesson 2The about page answers "who is this"
People read an about page to decide whether to trust you. Say who, where, and what you do on a normal day.
BeforeFounded with a passion for excellence, we strive to deliver the best possible experience.
AfterTwo of us pour every jar in a rented studio in Duluth. If something arrives broken, one of us answers the email.
Why it works: it gives the reader a place and a person to reach, instead of a mission.
Example: invented shop and invented town.
Lesson 3The checkout email says what happens next
After the order is the moment a buyer worries most. A short email settles it.
BeforeThank you for your order. We appreciate your business and will be in touch.
AfterYour candles are packed on Tuesday and leave the same day. The tracking link comes in a second email.
Why it works: it names the day and the next message, so the buyer stops wondering.
Example: invented shop and schedule.